Sheffield United just lost 7-8 to Huddersfield on Penalties. This must be the first and only football match I have ever taken an interest in and that’s because I had the promise of a really nice gig if they won.

Apparently if they won, they would be ‘going up’. Where they would be going up to is a mystery to me, but it is all incredibly important to a large number of people. Quite why, I have no idea.

I was told that should they win, I would be entertaining at a huge celebration for the players and their families – it sounded like an amazing gig, so I followed the game with interest. Apparently after 90 of the most boring minutes ever with no goals, they decided to run around for another 30 minutes and then gave up and had a quick fire round where they competed to see how many times they could kick the ball past the men in the goals. All riveting stuff, followed by crushing disappointment – which for once, I was a part of.

Why do people bother?